a message to my younger self

I found this summer camp self portrait circa 2000 + began thinking about a message to my younger self starting with give less fucks.  This  photo was taken at a time when I didn't much love myself at all. But there is no sweetness without struggle and I quite like both.I've found the secret to #flowthruthefight: no matter how challenging something is, choose ease instead of resistance. Dance thru the fire + shift your perspective. It is only hard if you think its hard. Simplify + move forward.
Find the beginnings of a manifesto below equal parts #workhard + #livyoung. 

Seek balance: in life + love. In work + play. in heart + ego. Equal parts effort + ease.
Celebrate everything. Celebrate always.

Love yourself first, every inch of you, every thought – good and bad.
To love yourself Is to know yourself. Embrace your beauty + your ugly, your grit + your soft.

Stop worrying about what others think. Worry about what YOU think. There will always be judgment + judgment is most often a projection of someone else's insecurities, envy or misunderstanding.

Stop planning your life. Be present.
Life happens in real time.

Less thoughts. More action.
Over analyzing is a waste of time.
There is no “right time." All we have is now.

Less thoughts. More feelings.
Trust your gut.
Some of the worst decisions I made, I made knowing they were wrong, most likely to test myself.
Embrace mistakes as lessons.
Learn always. From triumph and failure. From heart break + romance.
From winning + losing. Always learning.

Fuck the resume + the plan + what he looks like on paper. Just because something looks a certain way, doesn’t mean it IS a certain way. Looks can be deceiving.
How does it make you feel?
Be present enough to answer this honestly, without feedback from friends or stories via the web. Make decisions based on feeling. Get clear on feeling. The rest is just noise.
If I followed this advice, I wouldn't have dated the wrong men or hired incompetent people.

Everything you need is inside.
Power comes from within.
Own your crazy. Just do you.


If you don’t know what you want, that is OK.
Spend time doing ALL the things to figure out what you do.

Say NO. People pleasing will only get you so far.

FOMO doesn’t exist.
Do what you want. Don’t do what you don’t.
Make a decision to make a decision and be confident in that.

Dance your face off, always. Shake your ass. Dance like EVERYONE is watching. Because they might be + guess what? Dance even more. Last night someone at a gala said to me – hey pretty girl, why you gotta be so ghetto? And in 4 inch spike Gucci heals and a sheer high neck gown, I twerked for hours.

Free to be a new version of you, everyday. last night i was gangster, today i am tired... and a teacher, entrepreneur, student, daughter, sister, cook. #selfdefined.

If you’ve got it, flaunt it. And the only person who can decide if you’ve got it, is you.

Your body is NOT who you are, but it is where you live, so take care of your home.
Connect to what you feed it + what you don’t.
Looks are only skin deep. How does your body feel?
Sleep. I fall asleep before 8pm and wake up by 5am. Weird? Not for me.
Without sleep, I am less than best. And that is never what I want to be.

This too shall pass is a shitty approach to life.
Instead of waiting for it to end, embrace the now. Even the ugly. Own the pain. It is a feeling, so FEEL it. And then when the pain is over, feel the FREEDOM, the sweetness after the struggle.

Advice is not always impartial.
People project their feelings. Listen carefully. Listen more.
Speak with purpose, so when you speak, people listen.

You don’t need to be at every party.
Sporadic appearances have more impact.
Let people wonder where you are.

Talk without action is just words.
Say what you mean + mean what you say, otherwise, say nothing.

Be your biggest fan + your harshest critic.

CHOOSE to be different. Non conformity is an action best served for self.

Surround yourself with people who challenge you thru love + otherwise. My biggest mentors are both people that seriously care about my well being as well as those who don’t like me much. Either way, both make me better.

Blood is thicker than water. No matter what, family is family. But don’t liv your life for them. Liv your life for you. Example, you want a tattoo and family doesn’t approve? Its your body. You’re in love with someone alternative to what is “normal” to your family? Its your life.

Never settle: I wake up every day to be better than yesterday. But I take the time to be still and listen to what my body, mind + heart need in the present.

Kiss a stranger in a bar that tastes like cigarettes, smells like tequila + has a bad reputation. And leave it at that. He probably won’t call you. And if he does, it will be a short lived passionate love affair.

Do not drunk text and then delete the conversation like nothing happened. Period.

If you think it is a bad idea, it probably is.

Lead with love. Always. Ego out. Heart in.
Laughter is the way forward.
Perseverance is a state of mind. Giving up is not an option.
Gratitude first.
Fuck I am so grateful. For my strengths and shortcomings. For my friends + those who have hurt me, for my experiences, good + bad, my past + my present.

Ready for anything.
Ready for everything.
Present in the process.

There is no celebration without hard work.
Find the balance in both. #workhard #livyoung