all we have is now.


They say if not now, then when? My answer is: I don’t know,  because all we have is now.
Planning takes me out of my present + into the future. Out of the now + into the unknown.
The future Is not something I can plan. So why try? I used to. i planned the wedding before the first date, the brand before the studio... i created every outcome possible instilling enough fear to inhibit me from moving forward, or in some cases, created too much excitement causing me to race (not pace) to the unpredictable, unrealistic “finish line.”

Ever been in a relationship when you’re planning one trip to the next, to avoid the now?
And then get to the destination + not even enjoy being there?
Ever spend your time planning the next double date, or the next event? avoid each other.

Do you find yourself always looking forward to the next text?
The next great adventure.
The next best thing?

We spend so much energy planning the unknown. Planning projects the future.
But the future isn’t project-able.

Stop planning. Start LIVing.
Stop planning. Start feeling.
I say this lovingly as I spent the first 15 minutes of yoga class planning this post. Present in my planning, I snapped out of it - more breathing, less thinking ...

Me? I don't keep a calendar-- a blessing + a curse. But if you tell me where to be, I'll most likely show up, as long as I remember...Planning pushes me to overthink about later. it takes me out of the now. So, I get up, get dressed + go. I don’t give myself enough time to second guess.
I wake up + run - as far as time allows. My distance is dictated by the time.

Planning creates undue anxiety on what is out of our control. I spin myself in circles forecasting outcomes in my head. That expectation often leads to disappointment. And sometimes surprise. The “could be” is out of our hands.

While I used to overthink. Now I just feel. Feeling is my new barometer.
I wake up + feel my body. Heavy or light. My mind, ease or resistant. My aura, fight or flow. I feel energy around me in conversation. I used to date to get married. Now I date without expectation - i date to laugh, to love, to feel --no longer for the outcome, the resume -- rather the ride. Dating like business is determined by feeling. Yes i have dreams of what qualities i want my future husband to possess + dreams of what my business will become. But the plan - is quite loose. I finally saddled up to this ride called life. Less thinking, more feeling.

Because lets be real, how do you pivot when things dont go according to plan? When tragedy strikes. When misfortune hits.Life is unknown. The universe throws curveballs. Planning creates expectation. Expectation often leads to disappointment. All we have is now.
#workhard #livyoung