When you open up, opinions come in.
Funny how that works.
I got home last night from a nonstop day of sweat, stilletos + sardines, too sauced from one mezcal negroni to bother cooking. Elated from a day well done - nothing epic but not too shabby, and looking forward to rest before repeating it all again. But luck would have it that before i shut off my toys, a text would tip toe in, takeover my restful state and result in a restless night. An opinionated text, sent with good intentions, from a texter met in passing at a dive bar in montauk over bud heavys + stale gumballs: “as a 3rd party business owner, your Insta feed is way too much. Seems like you are a TRY HARD.
you are all over the place. not to insult or be mean, just feedback.”
Shot in the heart. For a second. A Deep breath in + quick consideration of his opinion.
Funny, my instagram is my own expression, me being me. no effort at all. trying to be anything else would be much more difficult. Rather, i take boomerangs at the beach, sweaty selfies lookin like a sea monster, instastory my sweet potatoes to start my day, sneaker pics from where i stand, smoothie recipes, work drama, love lessons, life lessons + the rest of it, the hard work + the celebration, always seeking balance. I choose confidence over insecurity and share life thru my lens: nothing manufactured, curated or planned. Sometimes i question my caption - and then claw thru my insecurity: what am i worried about? If its honest, to me, then its real. And if it sounds crazy, its because im a little crazy.
I dont photoshop, autocorrect or edit. My best writing is impulsive. When i fixate on detail and ask too many opinions, my message gets clouded. So - I just post. The good. The bad. The happy. The sad. Perfection is no longer a goal. How you gonna have a goal that aint real? I’m sharing a glimmer of life as i know it, sometimes “all over the place,” - my struggle + success, how i work hard to #livyoung...thru confidence + fear, ease over resistance, to find celebration in the smallest of things. Life, as i know it, is usually all over the place -- extremes in a sense -- always aiming to meet back in the middle --- to balance, to connection, to myself. I am me. Just as you, are you. Self defined. The best people are often the ones who don’t always make the most sense.
Opinions are powerful, because they are yours. Share them. Lets discuss. and also discuss why judgement, comparison + insecurity are such an epidemic. People try so hard to please others. Ive been there. And i wont go there again. instead, i accept me as i am. actually, i celebrate me, ALL flaws included. I work hard to find balance, to be present in this moment, full well knowing that nothing will ever be as calculated as that because we are human -- complex layered creatures with emotions + needs. We are dark + light, ego + heart, connected + disconnected. life is not that linear, curated, or “all in one place.” And i am incapable of influencing people otherwise, Rather, i will stand behind my message of authenticity, of what’s under the hood, in my caption, in my story, in my heart.
Authenticity is honesty.
It begins with how you see yourself. Because perception of others,
is a reflection of self,
it always comes back to you.
Self definition is your definition.
Me? Im just tryna be me. I am as quirky as i seem. As put together - and pulled apart as i look.
Our best versions of self are not what is most aesthetic. They are what is most authentic.
And my bill of goods is as real as it gets. Messy is sexy. Lean in or opt out. Any questions?