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50 First Dates III

October 16, 2018 by Olvia Young

50 First Dates III

Ive come to realize that the best things in life make you sweat.
Heart beating. Sweat dripping. Deep breathing.
Food. Sex. (and love). Fitness. Whatever it is that makes your heart skip a beat --to remind you that yes, in fact you are alive - and human,  mistakes included.

For me, much of this reminder has come thru love lessons - to remind me of life lessons … no mistakes, just lessons, thru the men ive sweat with - in food, fitness + otherwise. Some made me laugh. Some made me cry. Below is a manifesto of sorts.
All in good fun, in the end - each has taught me more about myself. Un-peeling my layers, as i learn about others. But a leopard never changes its spots. We are who we are. Short stories below. Names have been changed. And Grudges have been dropped. And i am more than conscious that there are 3 sides to every story - mine, his + the truth. Take a peek.

Jack
Tequila. Taxidermy + Tonsil Hockey. At T om + Jerrys.
I felt his energy as soon as i walked in. We locked eyes immediately as i sauntered into Tom + Jerry’s in my sundays best, leggings + sneakers and a little sweaty from teaching just prior. Jack looked both naughty + nice. His energy met mine + it didn’t take long before we were twirling + dipping all over the dark dirty bar, tripping on the dogs they let in + simultaneously salivating all over one another — with total disregard that we were both there entertaining our employees. Way to keep it professional Olivia. Oops. It took me 31 years to make out with a random guy in a bar, no joke. But feeling is feeling and i really wanted to feel him, even though he wreaked of cigarettes, was drunk enough to reveal he had a date waiting for him at home + simultaneously opened his heart.

A boy dressed in men’s clothing, with strong hands and puppy dog eyes that pierced into mine. I’ve always liked those, the bad boys who get close enough quickly to reveal hints of hope, grab you in all the right ways, and leave you wondering why. An hour in and our respective employees found entertainment of their own as we found a way to cuddle on one bar stool, sip tequila, salivate + share stories. I listened to his family history, successes + failures, and considered his invitation to thanksgiving dinner and his promise to cook for me the following week after date night at the movies. Slow down sexy, I said. I know your type: hot to trot with fast future plans and no follow thru, suave enough to lure you in + smooth enough to let you go.  I’m good at those. We went to dinner once more – he was nervous but warmed up over Shuka kebabs, too much garlic + too little care to resist ferociously making out out tableside like teenagers, all while offending the hummus having families seated nearby. My heart skipped a beat as I jumped in a cab home to awake for a 6am sweat before a 7am filming. Jack checked in the next morning, and then blamed food poisoning for his disappearance a week later. The next time i saw him was at his office, for coffee with his CEO, who i also met the night of our tonsil hockey tournament. We certainly put on a good show for Tom, Jerry + our teams. As for Jack, a playboy no doubt, but if i ran into him- i’d let him twirl me again, and leave it at that. No emotion necessary. There was something dark + deep layered beneath his brash exterior and emblazoned ego that briefly left me hungry to see his hiding heart. but I’m left with a note to self: Olivia, no matter your appetite, stay away from dark eyes in dark bars whose insecurities are not yours to mend or fix. So when he texted me last week to say he’d be back at our hunting ground, I simply responded with a photo: “hey stranger, im busy eating chicken with my hands at home. no taxidermy for me today. have fun.” and i’m sure Jack and his dark eyes did just that.

Brad the entrepreneur
Seems we’re in this entrepreneurial era of everyone seeking funding to follow their dreams, and as such I met brad thru his fundraising deck. i had a fantasy that while fundraising id either meet an investor or a husband. neither has happened, so i stopped hunting for both. I responded to Brad’s pitch out of courtesy and he resplied two months later to connect. After a google search revealing his attractiveness and the self awareness that i was thirsty, i agreed to meet at the Crosby Hotel late morning.

Coffee meetings are business meetings in my book, so I wore business attire, a Kelly green St. John knit jacket + ready for anything confidence. Brad swooped in a bit late, with an unshaven face, and unabashed confidence exuding from his unbuttoned shirt. Masculine, educated, self aware, sexy and just slightly unrefined...i quickly became even more dehydrated. Business meeting quickly became deep discussion - both us speaking the same language, although English is his second. I was turned on + so was he, but we were both also late for our next meetings. #startuplife - So brad + i said ciao for now.
Weeks passed before he insisted on drinks on a rainy afternoon after a long day, but i obliged before attempting to cancel 3x. we agreed on ATLA, although I was not dressed to impress, but quickly distracted by a mezcal negroni, our mutual joie de vivre and a messy makeout at the place i hold lunch meetings multiple times a week. Way to keep it Professional, olivia. Day turned into darkness + we sauntered to tom + jerrys for a nitecap in the rain, a bar better suited for messy make outs no doubt. But i played it cool + dipped out for a busy following day. Life of an entrepreneur: not interested or uninterested, or rather just not interested enough…unsure why, the physical attraction was on point but he seemed young with big dreams, like me but different -- foreign born with wild stories of success, failure, silicon valley, losing himself and otherwise - common ground of self definition + free spirited elegance — could be fun, but not forever.

A week later we rendezvoused at a birthday on the LES, late. Now, if im going out, late, i have a mission in mind, hunting no doubt. thirsty. The Live DJ was dropping beats and i was dropping low. I danced my face off, and he arrived. now im not typically DTF, until i am - and my two cocktail cap either leaves me face planting or in it to win it and after seven months of celibacy post breakup, it was game on because you’re either driving or driven, so i took charge + took him home - to his place. I keep mine for me, so i can hit the eject button at my discretion.

His barely lived in soho loft had no furniture— just empty moving boxes as end tables, charcoal for drawing, a jar of half eaten macadamia nuts, and a bed in the back. I urged myself to behave but sometimes your body just decides for you. So i took the thinking out of it and allowed myself to feel. we quickly consummated our initial crosby street conversation on his wood floor - wild in the most tame way possible --- “two” much tequila, with a foreigner, ripped tights, and maybe some minor bruises from the unfinished flooring of his unfurnished loft. But What a guy! He even brought me water and tucked me in before i closed my eyes for a few hours. And just before sunrise, i awoke to look out the windows over broadway, soho lights + the city i love and smiled with great success. My thirst was quenched, appetizer satiated and my Feminism revived, validating yet again that we are all animals. I took his charcoal crayons and signed my initials enclosed in a heart on an empty box in the living room, And left.

Brad, an old soul, with overwhelming confidence, sex appeal, and refined swagger. He made me feel alive after 7 months of celibacy and a year prior of a sexually deprived relationship. I would have totally hollered again when i got hungry but soon after leaving his loft, i learned he was so. much. younger. I have unabashedly avoided him since. As mentioned, I am not really DTF, unless i am, but i prefer aged meat to fresh meat and leave the cougaring to the Real Housewives.

October 16, 2018 /Olvia Young
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© 2016 Olivia Young. livyoung Brands. All rights reserved.

nothing makes me feel more alive than sprinting 🏃‍♀️ down empty streets while the city sleeps —
to take my breath away. ...
when was the last time you took your breath away? go ahead, 
surprise yourself 🎈. #workhard #livyoung As much as id like to think that love will find me when im ready, Aint nothin finding me except @netflix + email if I stay in bed 🛌 
SO Please add “dater” to my multiple hat wearing job descriptions Bc They say ya gotta kiss a lot of frogs 🐸👑
so, kiss me? 💋...
oh 
and yes in fact 
I sure did wear this last night
Because after a week choc full of 15 hr days, 
i aint wasting no more precious brain 🧠 energy on outfit selections or drink choice. 
Mezcal rocks please— 🥃
...
...
teaching a double tomorrow @boxandflow 🥊 will be wearing a different uniform #ninjachic 🥋 
1030 + 1130am come thru, 
lets dance 💃🏻 #workhard #livyoung
I dare you to write yourself a love letter💌 
I did. (http://livyoung.co/loveletter) ☝️
Because what is sexier than owning the skin 
you live in? Sure Ill always wonder what it feels like to have boobs like @emrata or legs like @gisele, 
but when all is said + done, 
the body I liv In is my home🏡, it’s my own. 
a love letter to me, from me—link in bio. 
maybe mine will inspire you to write your own.💋 Happy VDay♥️. #workhard #livyoung 
#loveyourself there is something incredibly sexy about 
sitting at a bar in stilettos👠+ and eating steak🥩... solo. red wine🍷smooth jazz + conversations with strangers on the side. learn to love your own company♥️. #workhard #livyoung suit up. 
show up 
or sit out. ...
...
I wore this silk pink pant suit out the other night, along with the post @boxandflow sexy confidence I call swagger, to first talk female entrepreneurship before meeting a matchmaker made blind date — forever seeking #balance In work + play. My date broke the ice by listing off my resume - 3 brothers, Miami raised, likes yoga etc. until I interrupted + asked what he stands for. He was surprised, sure—but that was the point. No one is as basic as their IG, dating profile or job resume. There is more to learn when we dive deeper - into the discomfort behind the facade. What’s under the hood? IMHO, whatever you want there to be. I will never be one thing, and will never try. Woman, daughter, sister, lover, chef, fitness founder, entrepreneur. HUMAN. All done up or totally undone. Messy is sexy no matter what you wear, no matter who you are. Are you willing to get messy in yourself to embrace all of you? 
Show up 
Or sit out. 
One life. #flowthruthefight 
#workhard #livyoung even tho i created @boxandflow to give the freedom I always felt thru boxing + yoga—among my biggest fears in actually starting it was 
1. my personal practice would change. 
2. actually teaching my method 
3. the unknown. 
it has taken far too long but I’ve finally found peace with taking the class i love so much. leaning into my business in a new way, with a team that I l♥️ve — 
to #flowthruthefight together. messy is sexy 😉 
#workhard #livyoung and to choose what does—
you have to know what doesn’t. 
fuel ⛽️ or fill? your life. you choose. 
link in bio. 
#workhard #livyoung too much? that’s the point. 🖤 to strip down the facade + humanize this experience that social media has covered with smoke + mirrors, 🤳 
to wilfully declare that we are all here to see + 
be seen, feel + be felt, To shed light on the messy parts of life, the vulnerability, 
the honesty that is sexy, 
The hard work that goes into our successes + 
our struggles as we #flowthruthefight. 🥊🙏 The secret is to make it all look easy, sure. But if it was easy, we’d all be models + billionaires + all the rest of the stuff we double tap. 
So lets talk fear. link in bio. #workhard #livyoung letting  things be “easy”, to #flowthruthefight has always been my biggest challenge, + why i started @boxandflow. the physicality of the workout brought me ease. Hitting a heavy bag 🥊, the cathartic release of breath 
energy 
resistance +
strength 
forces me to feel my own power + 
shows me that I can. i am here, i am alive. 
And it is the same power I use to hold myself back, to resist my flow, to resist myself. 
which is why my only fear, is ____. 
Blogpost up. Link in bio. #workhard #livyoung
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