Creator or Victim
Are you creating your experience or a victim of your circumstance?
A thought that was running thru my head this past week or so, as I was running the west side highway. I love to run. It gives my body freedom – it lets my mind flow. Sometimes i run to lose myself And sometimes to find myself. But no matter because I always come back – to me. Funny though because at this present moment, I can’t run.I twisted my ankle Sunday as I was floating in my feelings, with no time restraints, no rush--feeling free. Until a pothole popped up, and I plopped down. Twisted ankle. Calm down killer. Lean in. Just be.
See I have this thing with growth. This forever moving forward mentality. I take on the hard stuff as easy. I play with perspective. I #flowthruthefight. But I want to grow, to fly, to soar. I want to be better today. This ‘no excuses, no limitation’ mindset – is physical and mental. My physical experience translates to my mental clarity. I want to run fast, I want to feel light, I like to dance thru my life. how I move mirrors how I think – its how I run, box, flow, feel. I dance in the street, flag a cab while shaking my hips, hit boxing pads like a ballerina. Flexibility, fluidity is my lifestyle and my state of mind, connection always. But My ankle has put a pause in such connection, testing my patience. And it is my choice to be a victim of such circumstance or create my experience. I choose creation.
This morning with a taped up ankle, standing on my hands in yoga, it occurred to me. This is exactly the growth you’ve been seeking. It just landed in a twisted way. You are not a victim. This is your experience! You’ve been wanting to go farther. You’ve been asking for more. But growth for you today Olivia, is deeper. You need to dig in!! You have been running farther, but getting nowhere. So stand taller! ground down.
I can’t go Farther
But I Can go deeper
I can create my experience – from where I am. I can Make even MORE of everything i have! #perspective.
You might wonder, who coaches me. For better or worse – me! I learn best by doing, by feeling – but my lessons often come with extremity. Like a twisted foot. Or a broken heart. But I listen. I learn. A student – and a teacher. And a choice to create my experience rather than become a victim of circumstance. I choose to learn from and grow into a better version of me.
So back to the lesson: It is not always about going further, sometimes it is about looking in.
Physically, I can integrate more. I can listen closer to what my body needs and doesn’t. I know I can go further. If I slow down.
Professionally: I crave expansion. I want more. but I don’t get the keys for location #2 box + flow until august. So today, I need to make more of what I have.
Personally: I have learned good lessons about others as much as myself. My habits, my patterns, my defaults. Its grow time. I gotta rework what I know, get to know my friends better, ask more of my family, lean in closer in conversation, squeeze in tighter to every hug, kiss with potency, velocity, passion. Find love, from intuition not impulse. Passionate, yet sustainable love that grows over time. I know it will find me, as I continue to find myself. But first, I know that the growth I speak to, speaks within. I want to learn more about me as I grow more into me. And I want to learn more about you. No surface exchanges. Instead lets make change. Lets love ourselves mores.
Raw + real, always. Not victims, but creators. LIVing lives that we choose
And that is where I pose unto you: Are you creating your experience or a victim of circumstance?
Sometimes its not only about pushing forward, but rather making peace with where you are – not growing bigger, but growing deeper – digging in, Which is only possible, by leaning into, Ourselves.
Ask the questions – unto you.
Creator or victim? You choose. #flowthruthefight.