I dont fear risk, rejection Or failure
Judgment or comparison
I dont fear Illness, death or dying
I dont fear time Or lack thereof
I dont fear being alone
Or being in love.
I dont fear Asking for help or
receiving it, I dont fear opening up,
Or shutting down.
I don’t fear my past or my future
My dreams Or nightmares
I dont fear Pleasure Or pain
Success or solitude
The only thing i fear Is holding myself back
From reaching my full potential.
The only thing i fear,
Let me explain:
First we fall + then we feel. And i’m not afraid to jump. As i lean in + let go, i learn more about myself, the deeper depths of my mental makeup, the strength of my mind, and the extent to which i internalize. I have always identified with struggle more than success, with fight more than flow, it is hard work for me to liv young. But i’m up for the challenge, because i see myself. My beauty + my breakdown.
Part of why I share so much of me is to humanize this experience that social media has covered with smoke + mirrors, to wilfully declare that we are all here to see + be seen, to feel + be felt. It is the messy parts of life, the vulnerability, the honesty that is sexy. The hard work that goes into success + struggles of everyday life. And as i share, i practice what i preach, i flowthruthefight, and shift my perspective to embrace all of me. The secret is to make it all look easy, sure. But if it was easy, we’d all be billionaires + beautiful + all the rest of the bullshit we double tap on instagram. So lets talk Fear,
I am afraid of myself.
I am naturally dark. Overwhelmingly resilient. The last man standing, not to prove to anyone else but myself that i can. Letting things be “easy” without force, to flow thru the fight is my biggest challenge and why i started box + flow. The physicality of the workout brings me ease. Hitting a heavy bag, the cathartic release of breath energy resistance strength and power shows me that I can --- feel my own power. i am here, i am alive. It also shows how much i hold onto. The same power that pushes me forward, holds me back. And with that resistance, i deprive myself of the freedom I liv by, i lose the fun. i get stuck. My willpower works against me, My heart gets caught up in my head.
My feelings get hurt. I get in my own way.
But the only one to dig me out is me.
So i move. I run to fight + flow my fear of self, away. To sweat the layers holding me back, to reconnect to me - my body, my breath, and let go. That hard work allows me to livyoung. I face my darkness, to see and share my light. I shift my perspective -- from fearing me to feeling me, to embrace my messy as sexy.
My fear is what brought box + flow to life.
In darkness, i feel most. A cloud sweeps over me, not of complacency or concern, and I get stuck.
But I believe We fuel our lives or fill our time. And when my autopilot is ON, and i am existing instead of living, i fill my body, my thoughts, my time with pointless meetings, disconnection, dating apps or one too many martinis, a piece of candy or lack of sleep. Dark thoughts not deeply rooted in anything, just heavy energy hovers over.
I have often been asked how i started my business or ended toxic relationships (with others + myself) my only response is, “i just did.” And with that power + conviction, #workhard strength, I choose to push me forward or hold me back. Cognizant that it is my choice to propel me forward to livfree + livfull, or hold me back, To induce my own failure. But I’m up for it. the challenge --- the hard work to To livyoung, to find balance within, to love myself, always. And to love another? I know that
Love will find me when i am ready and Life will meet me as it does everyday.
Success will always be challenging for me to define,
as my greatest fan + harshest critic, Because
My only i fear is me.