This share is to limit the stories we tell ourselves:
to open our hearts + also protect them from harm,
as love is really a game of risk.
toying with anothers’ emotions is a devilish deed-- resulting in stories and sagas outlasting the natural course of when love affairs begin + end. even worse is trying to convince ourselves that it is a game to win. I don’t believe in mistakes, just lessons -- perhaps you will learn from mine.
Choose to be your first choice, and you will be chosen first.
In terms of the story — after letting it sit for a bit, i can laugh, but learn because i have done this before. A romance short lived: chased by a man i wasn’t all that interested in—moreso intrigued, then opened my heart after telling myself stories. I love love - courtship, companionship, sharing + caring. But it leaves me wondering what i have not considered within, that i continue attracting unavailable creatures. If i am chased to open others’ hearts, (see post), who is here to care for mine?
A reminder to us all: to keep our hearts open, heads high, mindfully.
No mistakes, just lessons.
This story as a gentle reminder of the power of energy -- Do not seek what is not seeking you, no matter how elegantly it is presented. Find clarity between ego + heart, when it comes at you strong, when you are pursued or pursuing. Because love, while risky-- is meant to fuel hearts, not fill egos. A shared journey - rather than a self prophecy, reiterating the stories we tell ourselves. There is no chase, no win, no goal. It is a forever kind of feeling.
A feeling which is not present, in this story, in this now.
So i have found the power of goodbye.
An end + a beginning
This ride has been fun. Random outreach. Instant connection. Excitement from the beginning. Thrill of the chase. Learning, touching, sharing, tasting, traveling, experiencing, but your heart is not open, so I must go. Im seeking a man who wants to be mine. A man. To care + take care. To listen and share. To provide comfort and excitement. To be my man. A partner first, lover second, learner third. I think we have the order skewed.I want a man whose flexibility is ever present. Willing + able to bend, not break. In more than just business. Rigid structures built on faulty foundations crumble quickly when there is a small crack. I seek more. The thrill of the chase is not thrilling to me. I want a man who is available to support my endeavors, be my critic + my fan. I want a man who wants me as I want him. an equal partnership. So while I have no answer to this short lived love affair, my solution for now is simply ciao. And thank you for being who you are, even if you may claim to seek more, the power of myth is powerful. Your actions are strong, your conviction is real, you go after what you want. And I dont feel your conviction enough in me. There is power in goodbye. Best wishes, all love. I’ve shared my heart + now i must protect what is mine.
A lesson to us all: Trust your intuition. Do not seek what is not seeking you. To know yourself is to grow yourself: Simply put, I knew it was over when it was over, and i allowed it to carry on two weeks too long. But even before that, sleep was stolen from me the moment i felt my gut keeping me up, my intuition leaving me restless at night, anxiously warning me that this love affair was not right. No harm, too surfaced to form a scar, just a small bruise that will heal in no time, leaving a small memory, in a chapter of my never ending story.
Protect your heart from hurt. But do not fear risking the possibility of love.
**and even with a little bruise, i got some good content. :)