6:38am: Running down the west side highway with one thought in my head: simplify.
See, my anxiety shows up in all sorts of ways
This morning, it showed up in my suitcase.
All week i felt the indecision hovering, the anxiety in deciding if i should say or go.. The worry as I pop my head up in the middle of the night
And need to breathe deeper, quiet my mind and put myself back to sleep.
I liv by the idea that its not about having the most, Its about making the most you have,
But for me —Sometimes that’s just too much.
I make ever minute count,
I lick every drop out of the bottom of the peanut butter jar, Wipe the back of the spatula and the smoothie leftovers out of the vitamix clean.
I squeeze the emotion out of every hug,
run the last mile, the last minute, and often get the last word in. I don’t like waste.
anxiety for me is my monkey mind
Too many ideas
Too many options,
i have to remind myself to simplify —
just as i do in box + flow, one punch into the next, one breath into the other.
Its not about having enough, its about making the most of what you have —
simplify. Leaving a young business is like leaving a small child — my anxiety today In my suitcase or otherwise stems from leaving the hen house loosely attended. And that concern bled into my failure to commit to booking sooner, and resulted in a last minute trip, with lots of loose plans, and no steady commitments, as seen as anxiety in my suitcase —- packed to the brim with Too many outfits, and too many options, to feed into my fear of too many decisions, undecided.
i know there are currently too many laces untied in life right now — too many Decisions are lingering.
I need to get back to my breath. So i do, the best way i know how -
I simply suit up in my shiny black spandex #ninjachic second skin, I lace up my sneakers, and plow out the door - out of the piles of clothing and the leaping of my monkey mind, onto the westside highway to sprint pre flow (yoga) pre flight. And all becomes clear: simplify. Just as I do in my workout uniform - no decisions necessary. No distractions.
Simplify: Let go of what you cannot control. Make space for what you can. Here + now.
Just flowthruthefight - as you have done for the last 20 years of your life — Just move.
With over an hour, I squeeze in 3.5 mile run of clean air to clear my lungs, wind chill to breeze on my face, To yoga to find stillness, deep breath, deep sweat + flow for 40 quick minutes.
Grab my jacket and sprint home to shower and zip up my suitcase, my over packed piles of indecision,
To make it to the airport just in time, — I hope. (**I MADE IT)
And in the Lyft on the way there, breathing calmly, I find solace in the backseat
voraciously emptying these thoughts unto you,
sharing these words…the words of an often anxious over thinker,
unorganized yet super self aware entrepreneur,
who prides herself via “messy is sexy” and embraces all sides of me,
But I truly believe that the key to life, beyond knowing yourself first,
Is to keep it simple.
Let go of the extra —To make space for the best part,
The last bite, the purest version of you. You as you are
Out of your head,
Into your heart
Note to self, just #flowthruthefight