smoothie styles

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after I sweat, I smoothie. everyday. i look forward to it, actually. my version of a milkshake. different day, different flavor. alternate protein sources. Switch between vegan + whey. I play with different greens, herbs, spices + accoutrements. I find a way to make magic out of monotony. To make milkshakes without the milk.

my culinary school background serves me well when it comes to textures + tastes. i find simple pleasure in adding orange zest, fresh ginger or dutch processed cocoa to my base + find fun in the the subtle taste difference when using macadmia nut instead of coconut milk. There is always the consideration of how much ice is too much - or if my bag of frozen berries will bring sweet or sour to the batch. I love to watch whey protein fluff up when the vitamix pops on + how the concoction pours a marshmallow like ribbon you’d want to float in it.

after Im thru adding all the things + the @vitamix hits high. i wait with anticipation to scrape down the sides with a rubber spatula, and taste my creation. But first, I choose the vessel. Coconut oil jar, coffee mug or freshly drank la Colombe cup. No matter the glass, I always finish with my hands — a successful smoothie is one that ends up on the kitchen floor + leaves a little on my face. Its the simple pleasures. make magic out of monotony. make some today.

vegan protein
amazing grass peanut butter, chocolate peanut butter, rich chocolate (whole foods)
sprout living drinkable oats
vega protein (chocolate, mocha, coconut almond, vanilla chai, vanilla)
sanosphere chocolate
whey protein
eboost chocolate + vanilla
primal kitchen chocolate coconut
naked whey peanut butter, chocolate

fruit + veggies
banana** always
berries
mango
spinach
kale
pineapple
frozen coconut
passion fruit
frozen peaches
avocado
riced cauliflower
canned pumpkin
sweet potato

extras
vanilla extract
almond extract
fresh mint
coffee beans
brewed coffee
fresh ginger
cinnamon
dutch processed cocoa
peanut butter powder
orange zest
lemon zest
nutmeg
matcha powder
pumpkin pie spice
coconut meat/cream
sprinkle of sea salt brings out the chocolate flavor
tumeric
powdered ginger
cacao nibs

milk
coconut milk
almond milk
cashew milk
macadamia nut milk
oat milk
coconut water

creativity in the simplest things. smoothies bring me solace.
have fun with it. surprise yourself.
favorite recipes? in search of recipes? feedback? send me a note.


 

have + have not

its not about having enough. its about making the most of what you have.
we all need a reminder, sometimes.
grace. grateful. gratitude.
My internet has been down for days. Verizon exploded in Chelsea + so it goes. No wifi.
Ive been restless. Reliant on internet to keep me company in the early hours and before I go to sleep. I woke up this morning at 5am, and paced around my apartment for an hour or two, before letting myself go back to bed. I shifted my perspective on what i don't have, and embraced what i do: quiet morning hours, no distraction, soft sheets + deep sleep. i let go.

its not about having enough. its about making the most of what you have.
Time, money, energy, freedom, love. If we choose gratitude first. If we stopped wishing we had more, would we see more clearly all that we have?

I ask you this as I ask myself. As I wonder about this past week when two notable names took their own lives. Surely possible that they were grateful in their final moments for all they have, but more probable that they felt a deep emptiness, leaving legacies + loved ones + never to be answered questions.

Life is what you make it. There are circumstances, sure. There are unforeseen complications and less than desirable outcomes, and time is precious. But what if we stopped focusing on all that we don’t and started embracing all that we do. Time is what you make it. Make the most of it.
Spend it doing things you love, with people who you love, going places that you love, when you can. And when you can’t, be where you are + lead with love. Acknowledge your foundation. Find gratitude in everything. Grow from there.

Money is poignant for me now. I started a business, with my own money. I need to grow. I'm pitching investors to invest in my dream to bring more balance to the world - selling confidence + sexy thru the messy, vulnerable unknown, thru what started as a workout but speaks to a feeling, a way of being, a way of life. asking for money is frustrating + uncomfortable. it is far more challenging than swiping right for sex. Money is hard earned, its personal, its defensible, its yours. While sex should be — or might be — its also just, not. pick your poison via tinder or bumble or hinge. Money is different.

I’m struggling to find gratitude in all that I have, as I keep my vision + dreams in check: a business built from sweat, blood + tears, rooted in love + a deep desire to make the world better. A team of committed people, and a community who is willing to learn, grow + connect to themselves. A constant reminder that without all that box + flow is today, there would be no future. Gratitude is the foundation of everything.

Energy, freedom, love.
You choose how your energy shows up. What you output and what you take in. Learn to know how you operate — what fuels you + depletes you. Find gratitude in knowing yourself. Freedom in feeling how you feel. And loving who you are, instead of worrying about all that you don’t and all you are not.

its not about having enough. its about making the most of what you have.

success in failure

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it is when we fall that we really feel.
in love, in work, in life. without risk, there is no reward. entrepreneurship isn’t easy.
It is a roller coaster with unexpected twists + turns. It is a boxing match with an unpredictable opponent.
It isn't a job, it's life, in real time - with one million variables and one North Star. My commitment to my vision + dream, is imperative. I have to stay connected to my core, whilst building a committed team, a growing community + keeping myself balanced along the way. In other words, my connection to me, my business + my life, is also deeply effected by everything around me, the emotions + behaviors of others - employees, clients, trends, competitors, potential investors, the weather! i speak about balancing ego + heart, letting love lead the way, being grounded in gratitude and choosing confidence over everything.
But at the same time, I am human.
I feel.
everything.
I think life would be easier if I didnt.
If I didnt care when others were hurting.
If I didnt have this deep desire to change the world.
But I do.
And I will.
So often we live in fear of the unknown, which prohibits us from even taking a chance, in big ways + small: texting a crush, having an uncomfortable conversation, quitting a job…
But what if we shifted our perspective to find the thrill in the potential failure. To see that there is success even when we dont “win.” The success is in just trying - in putting yourself out there, In taking a chance.
It is when we fall that we really feel.
What are you willing to feel?
For me, the answer is everything.
Even if sometimes, it hurts.
Because if you’re not willing to lose, than you’re not willing to win.
and I play to win, whilst acknowledging the possibility that failure is also an option, in big things + small.
when you open up to possibility, anything is possible.
but you don't know unless you try.
#workhard #livyoung

motivation

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teaching gives me life.
who knew?
my biggest insecurity in starting box + flow was actually teaching the class.
often it is what scares us the most that is our greatest calling: be it work, love, parenting, moving, or otherwise. that which we resist is sometimes a calling for us to lean in.

teaching motivates me.
Box + flow is my vessel to urge people to let go, to confront resistance + welcome in ease.
I learned to teach by teaching.
You learn to cook by cooking.
You learn to parent by parenting.
You learn to love by loving.
Same same but different.
We are all students, always learning.
What will you lean into to learn more from today?

i am motivated by magic, community, practice, presence + patience.
For my deep desire to bring change from within thru connection to self.
what motivates you?
Find it.
Lean in. learn. Listen. explore. Allow motivation to come from your heart.
If you listen closely, trust yourself + your intuition, you will hear your answers.
What motivates you is your calling.
allow yourself to be called. learn to listen.

#workhard #livyoung

feel

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We enter the world into open arms, literally. The universe welcomes our existence. Life is meant to be lived, to be felt, to be shared.  It is an open hug - an outstretched hand, a blank slate for us to create our experience on...if you’re open to it, if you are vulnerable. it is your human right to flourish, If you allow energy in with ease, rather than resistance, with flow instead of fight. Grounded in our being, confident in our self + open to creation, collaboration, love + evolution.
No expectation or anticipation: vulnerable to possibility + ready for anything, even if things don’t work out as planned.  It is thru failure that we learn. It is when we fall that we really feel.
As we begin a new week, this Memorial Day, we recognize those who have fallen. Entering mid spring, with new energy, + new beginnings, what are you willing to feel?
perhaps consider leaning in with ease, to #flowthruthefight.
#workhard #livyoung

magic

Magic is everywhere. Its as real as it get.
Call it the universe, luck, energy, timing - whatever you wish. It Just is.

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Magic is feeling. Connection. Energy. creation.
An openness. A manifestation.
And to feel magic - you have to be open to feel — the good + the bad.  

Those who dont believe in magic are the ones who have never experienced it.
Closed off to connection. Afraid of risk. Disconnected to community. Linear to a fault
Walk the streets looking at their feet instead of heart open to the sky, watch movies + dream about a different life, but are too afraid to make change…

But without magic, love wouldn’t exist
Businesses wouldn’t flourish
Cities wouldn’t be built
Movies wouldn’t be made
Communities wouldn’t connect
And dreams wouldn’t come true.
 
Magic is in the simple:  when all the traffic lights turn green,
when there are two open bar seats at your favorite spot,
when no one is seated in the middle seat on your red eye home from Vegas.
It is what is meant to be.
Or just luck.
It is ease. flow. Openness. receptivity. Heart.

But to know magic, to feel magic, is to understand what isn’t. It is to experience resistance, fight, unwillingness, being stuck.
When a relationship is forced.
When you start seeking outward instead of looking within.
But good magic, real magic, energy, luck, the universe, is everywhere when you are present.

And just because there is magic in a situation now, doesnt mean it will last forever.
Energy now isn’t energy always.
A feeling today doesn't mean you will feel it tomorrow.
Your dream job at 23 might be something you grow out of five years later, same as your dream relationship, or dream home. 
Magic comes + goes. Just like the weather.
But when something feels good, when something is just right, bask in that feeling now.
Soak it up as is. be present in the energy you have invited.  
Because the magic that you manifested in this moment, might not be here in the next.
So for now, what are you going to do with all this magic?

 

manifestation

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When you are present, you can manifest anything.

I woke up yesterday feeling connected - different than usual: out of my routine + Into just feeling. In the smallest of ways, I made change - breakfast smoothie instead of egg whites...I scurried to yoga by 630 + flowed, popped into a boxing class, i fought + i felt.
I took in new energy + let go of stale thoughts.
I ran into old friends + made new ones.
And skated thru the line at Trader Joes, All before 9am.

I had someone on my mind - an acquaintance who posted on FB about recently losing a relative, I wanted to give her a hug.  Bouncing thru Soho, I ran right into her.  New York city is a big place, but energy is everything. I manifested that feeling + it came to be.

Pep in my step, I took on meetings + me time. #workhard + #livyoung = #balance.

I ran to teach my 6:30pm box + flow with my new playlist in my ears so I could connect to my music before I used it for the crowd. Out of routine, I forgot to take my daily photo of the front door. It was officially my first class since opening that a student (*classpass) walked out of. Out of my control, I let it go + moved on.

With little time to spare, I ran home to get dressed for a blind date with no expectation. No plan on what I was wearing, I walked out wearing the first thing I put on, confident in my skin with less worry about what was on it. Feeling good from within.

I arrived to the restaurant steps in front of Jake Gyllenhall — my celebrity crush. Manifestation is real. Unfocused on Jake + present on my date, i stayed out past bed time -- connected to conversation, disconnected from distraction. There is little time to think when you are ‘woke,’ as they say.
Alive, present, Autopilot off. Connection on.
Present in my ability to manifest my thoughts + dreams.
Magic is manifestable.

Connection is ease, flow — not resistance.
It is a feeling.
Where do you feel connected? With whom? Doing what?
Im not asking for answers.
Im asking you to feel.

Feeling is part of the human experience.
Planning is part of the human dilemma.
What happens when you stop worrying about the future + start feeling the now?
What might you manifest then?
Try it on.

 

perspective

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Perspective is how we shift it all around, how we view one thing - differently: what we have vs what we don’t, half full vs half empty. I woke up yesterday feeling worried. I laced up my sneakers and raced out the door with heavy feet to grey skies. Earphones in, box + flow playlist 90 on + confronted with choice, I chose to shift my perspective.

I run thru New York City daily. This city brought me to life. It set my soul on fire. I run to feel the energy around me, connections + missed connections, the connected + disconnected. New York is a place where dreams are realized, created + crushed every day. The city opens up to you, if you’re open. #perspective The grey skies + my heavy feet became lighter with my choice to focus on what I have, rather than what I don't. With ease over resistance, New York City teaches me to be grateful. I have a body that moves, a heart that connects, a spirit that lifts, a mind that wanders + focuses all the same. Running thru New York is an awakening- there is filth + freedom. Sadness + hope. It is just about perspective.

We always want what we don’t have. Ego vs. Heart.
We want the chase, but not the commitment.
We want to ‘lose weight’, but fixate on the doughnut.
We wake up Monday + can’t wait for the weekend.
But what if we shifted perspective + focused on what we have instead of what we don’t?
Keep in mind that someone is always behind you who wants what is yours.
Whether that is because they really want it (heart) or because you have it (ego).

Saturday 5am wake up with purpose: workout + rinse before teaching my 10:45am class.  #ninjachic leotard + leggings on, followed by coffee + intense conversation, leaving my brain needing a pause. So I shut down my cell phone + took myself to see I Feel Pretty. I left the movie rejuvenated, confident + with no plans until a bumble match buzzed + offered to meet him + friends for a drink. Spontaneity + mezcal fuel me, even in sneakers + my spandex second skin. After a quick bargain blowout, I buzzed by. We had short banter before he excused himself + left me with his friends for 15 minutes while he chatted with others at the bar. Good people, no doubt, but I wasn’t there for them, so i dipped. Apology texts ensued, particularly one offering me to get dressed + meet him for dinner. Fancy meals + high heels are fab, but they aren’t the key to my heart —Take me to a dark bar + tell me your fears + i'll really listen. Easier said than done, but feels much better than it sounds. 

I left the date depleted + disappointed, until i shifted my perspective: I used to be a girl who would wait while a date ignored me, or legitimize the text that never arrived. Not anymore. I started to value me. In my leotard, sneakers + fresh blowout, I took the town, found fun friends, sipped cocktails + city hopped in spandex until 2am, + came home to savor canned sardines with my hands. My time, my choice. My glass is half full.

What if you were to find gratitude in what you have rather than focus on what you dont?
You can chase dreams but you can’t change others. The only thing you can control is you.
Your time, your perspective, your life. It is not about what I don’t have because reality is, I have everything I need inside. So do you.

#workhard #livyoung

 

all we have is now.

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They say if not now, then when? My answer is: I don’t know,  because all we have is now.
Planning takes me out of my present + into the future. Out of the now + into the unknown.
The future Is not something I can plan. So why try? I used to. i planned the wedding before the first date, the brand before the studio... i created every outcome possible instilling enough fear to inhibit me from moving forward, or in some cases, created too much excitement causing me to race (not pace) to the unpredictable, unrealistic “finish line.”

Ever been in a relationship when you’re planning one trip to the next, to avoid the now?
And then get to the destination + not even enjoy being there?
Ever spend your time planning the next double date, or the next event? ...to avoid each other.

Do you find yourself always looking forward to the next text?
The next great adventure.
The next best thing?

We spend so much energy planning the unknown. Planning projects the future.
But the future isn’t project-able.

Stop planning. Start LIVing.
Stop planning. Start feeling.
I say this lovingly as I spent the first 15 minutes of yoga class planning this post. Present in my planning, I snapped out of it - more breathing, less thinking ...

Me? I don't keep a calendar-- a blessing + a curse. But if you tell me where to be, I'll most likely show up, as long as I remember...Planning pushes me to overthink about later. it takes me out of the now. So, I get up, get dressed + go. I don’t give myself enough time to second guess.
I wake up + run - as far as time allows. My distance is dictated by the time.

Planning creates undue anxiety on what is out of our control. I spin myself in circles forecasting outcomes in my head. That expectation often leads to disappointment. And sometimes surprise. The “could be” is out of our hands.

While I used to overthink. Now I just feel. Feeling is my new barometer.
I wake up + feel my body. Heavy or light. My mind, ease or resistant. My aura, fight or flow. I feel energy around me in conversation. I used to date to get married. Now I date without expectation - i date to laugh, to love, to feel --no longer for the outcome, the resume -- rather the ride. Dating like business is determined by feeling. Yes i have dreams of what qualities i want my future husband to possess + dreams of what my business will become. But the plan - is quite loose. I finally saddled up to this ride called life. Less thinking, more feeling.

Because lets be real, how do you pivot when things dont go according to plan? When tragedy strikes. When misfortune hits.Life is unknown. The universe throws curveballs. Planning creates expectation. Expectation often leads to disappointment. All we have is now.
#workhard #livyoung

face yourself

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you want to take a photo of me? no thank you. selfies? hard stop. you're shocked, i know -- considering these days my whole feed is filled with photos of my face. It took me 30 years to let my photo be taken, to take a photo myself. today I take selfies, to face myself, to expose me, as I am, messy, raw, real. Face yourself to free yourself.  Your fantasies, failures, fabulous + flawed. Face yourself, as you are, strip down the facade. connect to you. let your heart shine.

These thoughts came to me as I checked into my hotel in LA. it seems like the first thing I do at a hotel is check out the mini bar situation. snack time in real time. But why? Am I hungry?  Perhaps. But truth is, I usually check in alone. My loneliness led me to fill. it always has. with food, booze, boys, — instant gratification pushes us to seek outward, for a quick fix to fill our feelings. for me, it isn't addiction - it is lubrication. lubricating to ease my loneliness thru a minibar snack, a beer, a boyfriend, - outward attention to fill me within. lubricating until I looked deeper, connected within, found greater purpose + faced myself.

i found beauty in my depth, my crazy, my individuality. in all of it: my 5am wake ups, breakfast before sunrise, running to feel free, sweat til i'm rinsed...my drive to change the world. my messy in everything- speak, sweat, eat, feel. i say what is on my mind, work til my brain buzzes, fall asleep before 8 + celebrate always. I faced myself to feel myself. To fuel myself. To fill myself. To find the balance between being my harshest critic + biggest fan. I stopped running away from me + started coming closer -- connecting to my desires, letting go of my fears + excuses. I became honest with myself about my ugly, became truthful with my heart about my needs.

are you willing to face you? to be honest about what you are filling with?
because If the answer isn’t self love, then what are you hiding from?

These days, me taking photos of me isn’t because im “prettier” or skinnier—- i was certainly younger + skinner before - emptier, detached, searching, filling. I am no longer hiding my hurt, my stories + lessons — I am sharing my heart with open arms, exposing myself, to further connect to my surroundings, because beauty from within is real. And as we face ourselves, our true beauty shows throughout.
heart exposed. head dismissed.
perfection is imperfect.
messy is sexy.


are you willing to come undone to connect to you?
face yourself to free yourself
#workhard #livyoung

connection

Do you know yourself?
Are you connected to your core? Do you know what makes you tick, what lights you up, what excites you, who excites you, who doesn’t? Are you connected? To your emotions, to your passions, to your intentions, to yourself?

Getting to know you is a never ending journey, an ever winding road, with no guide book or road map…just a lesson in presence, patience, self love + forgiveness. It is life. We are constantly evolving,  physically, mentally + spiritually - growing into ourselves.

And as we get to know ourselves better each day, we become more connected to what works + what doesnt — who works + who doesnt, what we want + what we dont.  This spans from the food we put into our body, the words we put into our heads, the people we allow in our lives, and the people we let go. It all comes back to resistance + ease. Who do you feel most at home around? Ease. What food fuels you, easily digests, instead of unsettles, where do you feel most at home?

Different than the instant gratification of the late night pizza, last minute booty call, last round of tequila shots you dont really want or the last word you had to contribute to an argument ended yesterday. Because connection is deeper, longer, stronger — a marathon, not a race. A constantly evolving forever type of feeling, rather than the hot sex with the dark eyes in the dark bar that never calls, the chocolate doughnut that tastes good in the now, or the friend that always takes + never gives. Those are distractions, not connection.

and until you connect to you, true connection to anything else is not possible. Mindfulness is a practice in presence, in patience, in feeling, not thinking. Close your eyes. Take a breath. Feel your your body, your heartbeat. Feel proud. That you are here — you’ve made it to this moment. Allow yourself to be proud. You have overcome obstacles, boundaries, let go of old, made space for new, and made it here. Feel freedom in that.
Feel the love you are capable of when you love yourself.
Heart over ego. Confidence over insecurity. Love from within.
Out of the past, forgetting the future, feeling the now. Proud to be as you are, who you are, now. Connected to your head, in your body, leading with your heart.
  Everything you need is inside.
#workhard #livyoung

vulnerability: what are you willing to feel?

vulnerability is part of the human existence. without it, we are just going thru the motions. thinking instead of feeling. vulnerability makes life worth living, risks worth taking + feels worth feeling. It separates real from fake. it defines ego vs heart.

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Vulnerability is a gift. A gift you give yourself + a gift you give to others...if you’re willing.
Without vulnerability, there is no connection + It can be given + received in big ways or small.  eye sex sporadically on the street, in a coffee shop, on my morning run, I get laid multiple times a day. Locking eyes is vulnerable. The alternative is not seeing - or being seen. It is avoiding connection, looking away, hiding. But if you see -- you are seen, recognized, acknowledged, creating connection. it is intimate.

Vulnerability thru locking eyes with a stranger, sharing a secret with a friend, or opening your heart to a lover, big or small, you are allowing someone in, with the potential outcome unknown - stranger looks away, secret is judged or shared, lover is uninterested. Vulnerability isn’t easy + as a result of hardship,  rejection or failure, we close off,  become guarded, are shy. As humans, we wear a shield, to protect, + guard our bodies, our feelings, our hearts. Our shields come in all types of armor - shyness, boldness, bitchiness, over-sexualness, center of attention extroverted-ness.

But what happens when we let people in -- in work, life, love? ... let our guard down - let something in, with no expectation, because the only thing we can truly control is ourselves. So as we unmask + open up, there is the possibility that we are received + the possibility that we are not. But if you are not willing to lose, then you are not willing to win. Not as a game, but as part of existence.

Be willing to come undone in everything. Conversation, life, love... Because what else is there? If you’re not willing to open up, then you remain closed off. Stuck in your head, disconnected from your heart. Thinking, not feeling. Uncharted territory is just that, uncharted. So what are you willing to feel?

And when you are the one asking -- for someone to open their heart + let you in, be clear that is what you want, from your heart -- not your ego. Because hearts are not a game to play. There is no winning, no goal, no conquest. there is just feeling. don't ask for something you're not willing to feel.

Vulnerability is a risk. Life is about getting messy. Messy is sexy.
What are you willing to risk in order to feel?

...

ask for more

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Ask for more.
Of yourself + others.
If you don’t ask, you won’t know.


this quote brings me to the scene in Oliver, when the orphan requests more gruel … “please sir, may I have some more…” the kid wanted more food, so he asked for it! why can't everything else be that simple?

the truth is, If you don’t ask, you won’t know.
So this week, I am asking for more ease, less resistance. more presence + patience.
Less fight, more flow + ultimately balance nonetheless.

An early morning text read: Monday! “Ready to crush the week?” My response: hmm, no. less is more this week. I’m a ninja, smooth + precise, not the hulk. No crushing.” Monday motivation has me motivated to just be me — to feel what I need, to act instead of react. Slower than usual, my body yearned for stillness. In stillness, we can hear what we truly desire. It is when we busy ourselves with constant distraction that our desires get muddled, and our minds become lost.

This morning I slowly left my bed just after 7am, put on my #ninjachic uniform with precision, to transition smoothly into Monday, to flow into the week, + dance into my dreams. Connected to my body, in partnership with my mind, asking of myself + others to act with intention, generosity + awareness. Less planning + more feeling, all week.

So I ask you, what if you led this week with presence?
With a calm confidence that easily intimidates.
With fluid movement, easy transitions, more action, less reaction.
With ease rather than resistance, with strength + confidence, a healthy balance of flow + fight, the strength + grace that stimulates intrigue + curiosity because you just seem to have it all figured out. Confident + curious. Fierce + fastidious. In your flow.

With more ninja + less fighter, I'm asking myself to lead with ease,

Light on my feet.
Focused in my mind.
Open in my heart.


And with that grounded energy, your quiet confidence, centered presence, grateful spirit, smoothly transition into your week with  swagger.
Unafraid to ask for more of yourself + others.
Proactive instead of reactive,
Eye on the prize,
Go get what you came for.

karma

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I walked up to a celebration at 55 bond street last night, pep in my step, spring stilettos on, feeling proud to walk up to the doorstep of the foundation that I've been building for the past 16 months. As i approached, i noticed a late 20's well dressed man hovering over the door i take a picture of daily, quickly zipping his fly after relieving himself on the place where ive put my all: my savings, my time, blood, sweat, tears. ive given up friendships + time I cannot get back, missed birthdays + milestones, holidays + family gatherings.
ive made peace with building limitations +  noise complaints, broken heat, skepticism + criticism, all made up for by the community being built, the lives being changed, the love created in a place where I launched the beginnings of a feeling, a movement, a brand - self defined, confident, authentic, vulnerable -- was peed all over yesterday, in broad day light, while a room full of party goers celebrated to Cardi B upstairs.

Silly boy - you peed on the step of a business teaching self actualization + truth, on a door that says "everything you need is inside"  -- a platform preaching connection, honor + integrity. First shocked and then ashamed for you, I quickly followed you down bond street in my Saturday best. "Hey White hat, did you just pee all over my door?"A shameful apology + you kept on your way. Were you raised by wolves? You in your 300$ Common Project sneakers + AG Jeans. A deep breath in + i let it go. Because it was not worth my effort to try and teach this boy the difference between right vs. wrong.

Every action has a reaction. And my hope for humanity is that we start thinking before we act. Everything is energy. Be mindful of the actions you take, the decisions you make, the words you speak + where you take a leak. Albeit simple or more complicated. How you show up, shows up. What you give, you cannot get back — including the urine you left on my home, a place where i've given my whole heart.

Someone said to me recently, "you're so busy - but you make effort look like ease." The ultimate compliment, of course. Because I love what I do - it isn't work for me, it is life. i am contributing that to the world - the quiet confidence of effort + ease, struggle + success, workhard + livyoung. As such, I lead life as i preach. I play the game in favor of winning for no one else, but me, with nothing to prove except the fact that anything is possible when you believe in yourself. So the urine covered door I take a photo of, everyday, as a forever reminder that “everything you need is inside.” Holds true. We have the answers, seek within. But you, sir, with the white baseball hat + disregard of humanity, I suggest that while you’re looking within, you also keep an eye out behind. Karma is a bitch.

aiming to be better, always.

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better, always.
i wake up every day to be better than yesterday. with no expectation for tomorrow, because tomorrow is out of my reach.
i believe we have three options.
1. to be stuck in the past.
2. present in the now, or
3. fixating on the future.
Now is the only thing that is real. So, I choose to be here now, with hopes of bettering along the way. growing, evolving, progressing forward.
For me, it is the constant balance between now + later. present and planning. pacing + racing. settling in what is + seeking more. staying grounded in order to soar.

I seek to be better in all that I do. shifting my perspective daily, i put myself in others' shoes. It is small changes that contribute to big ones. Today i went left instead of right, running a different route to take me out of my routine, out of my head + away from my plan, to my daily yoga practice. today i chose slow: my precise, heavy breathing fueled movement, invoked a juicy sweat. my focus was my core, seeking inwards as i pulled my belly button to my spine + my pelvic floor locked + lifted. More connection to my center. Everything stems from there. attention to detail on + off my mat + into my life. Seeking more always: more focus, precision, intention, connection.

I connect my learning to my teaching because teaching gives me life. i teach with presence + freedom, from my heart + just enough ego to give me confidence to lead. With seven minutes left of the fight in last nights class, just nearing the finish line, 90% of my sold out room took themselves out of the game -- grabbed a sip of water, walked away from the bag, their opponent, themselves. They left their bodies + were distra cted by their heads because it is human nature to run when things get tough. But when we stop, we doubt. Choose to stay strong, be accountable, push thru the resistance -- from the fire, to the water, to the flow. small changes in class result in bigger changes in life.the hardest part is showing up. but to be better than before, you have to stay in the game, stay on the field, lean in with ease or resist the opportunity to grow.  It is these small changes that contribute to bigger changes. better than yesterday. break habits today to contribute to a better tomorrow. gloves up, ready for anything. always protect your face.

I balance my accomplishments to date + acknowledge that there is so much more to do. And for me, there always will be. It is who I am: curious, always seeking more. grateful + relentless.

We all need more of somet hing: fire or water, fight or flow, ease or resistance. Fire is passion, fight, ego, resilience, strength, confidence, power. And ease is the flow, the water, compassion, heart, sensitivity, softness. It is about finding balance, as our needs constantly change. balance between:
gratitude + determination. triumph + dreams. present + future. ego + heart.

There is always room for improvement, space to grow. Because there is no finish line.
The end is just a new beginning.
As Cardi B says:
"We gon' win
Knock me down nine times, but I get up ten
YeahI said we gon ' win
Knock me down nine times, but I get up ten.

perseverance

a Monday mantra: 
“Perseverance is a state of mind. Giving up is not an option. Let go of what doesn’t serve you, to make space for what does. There are no limits. Limits are excuses. There are no rules. Rules are made to be broken. And goals are set not to be met but to be surpassed. New York is a city where dreams are realized, created + crushed. LIV the process.” #workhard #livyoung
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find inspiration everywhere

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We all have coaches, leaders, mentors + guides: Those we seek guidance from, who push us past our self imposed limits and pave the path that allows us to dig deeper,
the path that leads you back to you. #everythingyouneedisinside
You can lead people (or be led) to the fountain, but you can’t force (or be forced) to drink. Its your choice. 

We learn by doing. by practicing. by feeling. by watching. by listening...thru challenge + triumph, thru ourselves + others. I am grateful for the teachers in my life who have invested their energy in me, thru tough love + support, and pushed me to to seek more. 

Since opening box + flow and digging deeper into the meaning of LIVYOUNG, my relationship with fitness has changed as has my relationship to life + to myself.
I act + write thru my own experience, always, life thru my lens.
When you become a teacher, your actions are no longer your own.
People turn to you for guidance, as well as judgement + comparison. 

It is hard for me to workout at box + flow, much like it is hard for Michael White to break bread  in his own restaurants. In 7.5 years working with him, i saw him eat a bowl of pasta, once - the day after returning from a 2 week stint in Asia, pasta ordered plain, with butter + fresh parmigiano…because it tasted like home. comfort. familiar. He was finally home. 

So while sweat is a continued daily commitment, I don't often do it at box + flow. I seek it elsewhere, where I can let go - outside of my space, led by teachers who push me  - to push me to be my best self. Beyond fitness, I seek advice from those mentors who have my best interests at heart but most often tell me what i DON’T want to hear + what I know to be true. 

My guides are endless. I learn from teachers + students, friends, family + foes. I learn from teaching. Before I started my business, I was afraid to teach. I never “taught” before. The first class I taught was the morning that Muhammed Ali died. A stretch, or not, I believe in signs. Coming full circle, teaching is what fuels me. It is a huge part of my path. And my fear in actually doing it was the fear of being vulnerable + being me. To become a great teacher, you have to teach.  

I am grateful for the good + the bad I’ve learned about myself, from others + thru others. And as our most authentic truest self, we are whole, made up of a collection of experiences, conversations, successes + struggles that have shaped us. Including but not limited to the people who have pushed us past our comfort zones along the way. There is no change without challenge and no inspiration without foundation.  

Find inspiration everywhere to lead you back to you. 
#workhard #livyoung